Wednesday, December 2, 2015
I wish I could talk about coping with divorce or how to explain the new situations to a toddler, but I can’t. I’m still trying to figure those things out myself. It’s easy to find articles about anything, but no article seems to ever be just what I needed to hear. I’m not healing yet but I’m done trying to figure out the whys. I haven’t fully accepted some things, but I’m dealing with the situation day to day. My point is, is that there isn’t a perfect formula for this transition.
The question that has nagged at me the most is “How did we get to this point?” I thought we had a fool proof marriage, we did everything right and in the right order. First came love, then pre-marital counseling, then came marriage and then here we came with the baby carriage two years later. We did all the right things and in the right way, how did it all go so wrong? Things definitely changed after the baby carriage rolled onto the scene. Motherhood did change me in some ways, priorities changed and PPD was a horrible awful demon for me. I suppose all that combined does sound like a recipe for disaster.
I have to stop there, or I’ll trip and fall down the rabbit hole of asking why and how come. Then will come the endless thoughts of trying to figure out what all went wrong. Didn’t I say I was done trying to figure out all the whys? It’s so easy to slip backwards, but all the thinking and crying has made me weary.
I’m weary, yet the negotiations and agreements haven’t even begun yet. Guess I better get my rest, because there is a long road ahead.