Tuesday, January 6, 2015

A Closed Chapter

No more teen. Bye bye. Adios. #byeFelicia

I'm not going to go into graphic details just because I believe some things should stay private within a family. The reasons why she came to live with me were private from this blog from the start. Even though her identity was concealed, I still believe the public doesn't need to know every single detail. I'm going to be a general as I can be and still paint a picture.

It's been months of drama and chaos, learning as we go. Some of that is my fault for not laying down some basic rules but I was under the impression "she was a real good girl" and I should have no problems with her. Her mom had given me a totally different account so I just wanted to see for myself how things would go. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong strategy with a teenager. I didn't have a sit down heart to heart with her mom before opening my door. I should have. After I heard some stories that sounded off to say the least I didn't immediately investigate. That was wrong of me, I should have inquired immediately. Looking back on this experience there was a lot of wrong on my end. I take responsibility for that. If I ever take in another niece or nephew things will definitely be different from the word go.

Even after recognizing the error of my ways and starting anew, having talks, sharing life experiences and trying to bond with this girl who just seemed so broken. Being patient and biting my tongue during medication trials and switches. Praying and hoping there is a light at the end of the tunnel for her soon.

I made rules that got blown off or circumvented by other means. Leaving such loop holes open was a part of my fault. While she was gone for Christmas break, the Pops and I sat down and talked for the first time in a long time about what we need to set up for our family to be successful. I seeked Granny C's wisdom and advice on what to do with a teenager and what had been going on. She gave us better ideas and rules to implement. Not just for the Teen but for our whole family. WHOLE family, we all need the help. We made a written list of rules and a schedule for the whole family. This wasn't a Teen attack, but synergy for our home. There were issues we needed to get reigns on though.

Last night the Pops and I went over the rules and schedule and we were met with attitude, resistance and un-gratefulness. Her true colors were shown in her principal's office over her blue hair that was supposed to be corrected upon return from break. I knew for a fact this was going to be an issue with the school. When she was shown to be wrong and caught in a lie; she lashed out and informed me she no longer lived with me. Ok. All bridges burned and all doors closed. No longer with she use or manipulate me, my house or set a poor example for my very impressionable two year old. Who witnessed all this back sass last night and outburst this morning. Nope, not in this house!

The saddest part of this ordeal was Calvin being totally heartbroken as he watched his Teen move her stuff out of the house today. He didn't understand and didn't want her to go. He cried as she left and cried for a long time after.

Godspeed and best of luck.

xoxo and tot giggles

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